


Untitled - Kris/Suho for Mental Health Month

by eightredstars



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Possible Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 11:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10989996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eightredstars/pseuds/eightredstars
Summary: Junmyeon can't stress enough the importance of being there by Yifan's side.





	Untitled - Kris/Suho for Mental Health Month

**Author's Note:**

> This could be triggering as there are mentions of possible self-harm. Please note this is not a representation of depression or any other mental health issue, as people deal with it differently. 
> 
> My only aim for this is to raise awareness and spread a message. If this in anyway offended you or anyone, for this I shall apologize and am willing to take it down. However, I stand by what I want people to read from this. Know that I have no intention whatsoever to reduce the very idea of mental health, as this is in contrast to my belief.

If there’s anything Junmyeon looked forward to at the end of the day, it’s to go home and cuddle up next to his fiancé. Sometimes he rushed home so he could accompany him or be there for him. He practically avoided overtime work, as part of his self management routine. He wanted-- no-- needed time for himself and for his beloved. He didn’t want to burn out from work (and life, in extension) so he tried to fit in some activities that could still motivate him to live.

One evening, however, was unlike any other. As usual he makes sure to go home by 7 PM to help his future husband cook dinner. 

His fiancé, Yifan, was always home earlier than him. Yifan would regularly cook so by the time Junmyeon was home, dinner would be ready. Well Yifan did most of the cooking anyway since he lived alone longer than Junmyeon and he’s able to whip up a meal in no time.

When Junmyeon finally got home, he didn’t see Yifan setting the table or plating their meal. He didn’t smell anything cooking either. 

“Yifan!” He said. “I’m home.”

No response. He tried once again, but none.

Their place was quiet. Eerily quiet. Alarm bells were ringing in his head and he immediately shut the door behind him.

This prompted Junmyeon to dash to the kitchen and count the knives. Most of their guests found it peculiar that most of the sharp objects at their home were numbered. Junmyeon had every reason to do so, because he needed to make sure nothing bad happened.

He quickly counted them and all were complete, even counting the scissors and any tool that could injure anyone.

He rushed to their bedroom, swinging the door open with no sign of Yifan whatsoever. He’s in need of a breath, but there was no time. He opened the drawers to see if Yifan grabbed anything. By the looks of it, all remained untouched. Junmyeon then remembered there was one place his fiancé would go to if he’s in distress.

The rooftop.

He ran as quick as he could to reach the building’s staircase. Without stopping, he climbed the stairs using all his stored energy just to see if Yifan would be there. All Junmyeon hoped that he would be there… unharmed.

He finally reached the top and opened the door. He stopped and bent his knees for a quick breather. His hands grasped on his thighs while his eyes scanned and darted the area for any sign of Yifan. He caught a glimpse of someone seated near some vents. He dragged his feet to move closer and closer and closer and confirmed upon seeing a long scorpion tattoo the other man’s arm, that it was Yifan. He clamped a hand on his mouth, and his eyes started welling up. He was relieved to see that he was also moving because Yifan’s fingers were tapping, and the latter had the habit of looking up at the sky.

With all of the energy left in him, Junmyeon ran to Yifan and his knees just gave in when he was in front of him. There was a wave of relief flooding over him to see that Yifan was still breathing, blinking, and moving. Immediately, Junmyeon would check Yifan’s arms and wrists if there were any slits. Fortunately none.

He then cupped Yifan’s face and scanned it. He then pressed his forehead against his fiancé’s own. After which he kissed Yifan’s forehead, and collapsed next to him. He needed to catch his breath as he felt fatigued from the running and searching. His chest rose and fell, and his arms were outstretched on the ground.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Fan.” Junmyeon said, eventually rolling to his side and dragged himself next to Yifan. He rested his head on Yifan’s shoulder and laced a hand with one of Yifan’s own. 

All throughout that, Yifan remained quiet. Junmyeon broke his silence when he asked him, “how are you feeling?”

“Empty.” Yifan replied tersely. But Junmyeon expected the manner of reply. The response made him worry. He knows Yifan’s on meds, but he didn’t know exactly what the side effects were for him.

Junmyeon didn’t know what to utter. Somehow all the running seemed in vain, but he wanted to make Yifan know he’s not alone in this. He even attended only one of Yifan’s sessions, but Junmyeon decided to respect Yifan’s space after that. While he wants to keep their relationship open, all he wanted is to make sure Yifan was okay, and they could take everything step by step.

As his form of comfort, he stroked the back of Yifan’s hand with a thumb and he hummed a tune that made Yifan relax. It was Junmyeon’s attempt on Your Hand in Mine (by Explosions in the Sky). However, it didn’t elicit any feeling from Yifan.

Junmyeon then found himself staring in the rooftop across their apartment building. There stood a couple who apparently was on a date. In Junmyeon’s view, they were happy because he saw them laughing, embracing, and kissing.

They had that, and Junmyeon still wants it. But he was presented with a reality that not everything was filled with rainbows. And Junmyeon is not willing to give up whatever he had with Yifan. Regardless. All he wanted was to be by Yifan’s side, not because he had no choice. But he chose to stay because he loves Yifan. He had no intention to “fix” Yifan. He believed that he should be there for Yifan. To support him and guide him. To listen to him. To stop him from harming himself. Those are the best he could do.

Suddenly, he heard Yifan snicker and scoff. He looked up at his fiancé and saw he was looking at the same direction. He wasn’t sure of what Yifan’s actual views on romance were. Was he cynical or a romantic in disguise? 

But clearly at that moment he was the former.

“I bet you’re wishing that could be us right now, Junmyeon.” Yifan mumbled. Damn it, Junmyeon thought, he was right.

“I think you know the answer, Fan.”

Again, Yifan scoffed.

“I can’t promise you that everyday.”

“I’m well aware.”

“You sure you still wanna be married to me?”

“100% Positive.” Junmyeon then squeezed his grip on Yifan tighter. To make the other man know that he’s staying by his side.

“You won’t leave?”

Junmyeon shook his head, “We’re in  _ this  _ together, Fan.” He then tilted his up to look at Yifan who stared at another rooftop.

“I love you.” Junmyeon said as he unlaced his hand with Yifan’s. He then wrapped his arms around the other man’s torso. “I’ll always be here for you no matter what. You will never be alone.”

On the other hand, Yifan had many things he wanted to say but he knew Junmyeon will counter anything he says. He wasn’t in the mood to argue, heck he hardly felt anything at the moment. Even so, he secretly praised Junmyeon in his mind. The very presence of Junmyeon in his life, made it less lonely and more assuring.

**Author's Note:**

> This could be an idealistic view of a relationship with one person diagnosed with depression or anxiety, and the partner dealing with them. 
> 
> I wrote this piece because I wanted to contribute something for Mental Health Month. To get the message out. We should never feel alone in the midst of our struggles whether it's huge or little.
> 
> Yes, I know the struggle of not reaching out because I too still feel like a burden and know that my friends deal with their own problems as well. Here's the thing. I am grateful to the people who helped me. Without them, I'm not gonna be here.
> 
> So what I want you to know whether you have untreated symptoms of depression, are harming yourself, or feel like you want to end everything know you're not alone. I urge you to seek help or tell a friend. The latter may seem trivial or even burdening, but it's a big step to acknowledgement and help.
> 
> To the people who know someone that have suicidal tendencies or are aware someone has depressive symptoms, please do reach out. I read this post that most people with depression (including me, yes me. I see a doctor for it now though btw), have difficulty reaching out for fear of judgment or feeling like a burden. Please do your best to get them to seek help. Don't give up on them like my friends did with me.


End file.
